The category of king has been almost entirely evacuated from modern masculine imagination. We are suspicious of it — rightly, given the number of men who have claimed authority for exploitation rather than service. But the answer to misused kingship is not the abolition of kingship. It is the recovery of its proper meaning.
"Whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave."— Matthew 20:26–27
What a King Actually Does
In the biblical model, a king rules so that the people under his authority flourish. His power is given to him for their benefit, not his own. When David is made king of all Israel, the first thing God says to him is: "You will shepherd my people Israel" (2 Samuel 5:2). A shepherd, not a sovereign. The power is for the flock.
This reframes every sphere of masculine leadership. At home: a husband-king does not lord authority over his wife; he creates the conditions in which she can become fully who she is. At work: a leader-king does not extract performance from his team; he builds the environment in which they can do their best work. In the church: an elder-king does not manage the congregation; he guards and feeds it at personal cost.
The Household as Kingdom
Ephesians 5:25 — "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." The standard is not affection. It is substitutionary love — the willingness to give yourself up for the other. Christ's kingship over the church was established through the cross. The husband-king's authority over his household is meant to be exercised by the same mechanism: self-giving.
This is not popular. The word authority in a marriage context triggers every contemporary alarm. But the question is not whether there is authority in a marriage — every human system has structure — the question is what the authority is for and how it is exercised. Authority that exists for the flourishing of the one who submits to it is not oppressive. It is protective.
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."— Ephesians 6:4
Influence Beyond the Household
Most men's influence extends far beyond the household, whether or not they exercise it intentionally. Your colleagues observe how you handle pressure. Younger men in your sphere are watching to see if masculine authority can be trustworthy. Your community is affected by whether a man like you is engaged or absent.
The lion does not confine its territory to a single den. A man formed in the kingly pattern cannot help but affect his environment — his presence orders things. The question is whether that ordering is for the people around him or for himself.
Empire-building — leadership exercised for self-glorification, expansion of personal power, or the desire to be served rather than to serve. The counterfeit lion rules his household as a subject population, not a beloved community. He mistakes submission for weakness rather than recognising it as the form love takes in an ordered relationship.
- List the three spheres where you hold the most influence: home, work, community.
- For each one, ask honestly: am I using this influence for the flourishing of others, or for my own comfort and control?
- Pick one concrete action in each sphere that is purely for the other person's benefit — not yours.
Empire-building. Leadership for self-glorification is the counterfeit lion.